so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
