is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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