Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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