I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
