I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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