How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
