I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
