she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize