I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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