One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize