Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
