I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize