Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize