He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize