just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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