Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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