i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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