I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
