Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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