one might say we're banned from that church
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
