awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
