Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
