Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
