I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
