He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
