A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize