i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
