i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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