pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wear drunk well.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
