therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
