she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
