Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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