you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize