the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize