The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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