dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
