question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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