your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
