I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
