We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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