He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize