I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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