That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize