Screwed.edu
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
did i walk over a car last night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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