o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
