playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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