got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
