She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
