my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
