Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
