This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
