I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
