did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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