Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
