before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
