I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Screwed.edu
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Randomize