never play flip cup with pint glasses
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
