During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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