Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
