Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize