If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
