mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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